Report Card: PJ’s Luncheonette

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PJ's Luncheonette on Urbanspoon

http://www.pjslunch.com

Overall GrubGrade C- (barely)

 

The Breakdown:

Atmosphere:  Grade D+:  So this is how our little blog thingy works – Katina researches and picks which places we visit and when, we pool our opinions, then I write the report card.  One of the tools Katina will use sometimes is Urbanspoon.  Many, if not all of you will be familiar with this website.  So, when Katina saw that PJ’s Luncheonette had gotten “like” votes from 90% of the 53 people who voted, it seemed like a no-brainer.  Evidently, there are at least 47 people in the Cleveland area with severe brain damage.  PJ’s Luncheonette is essentially a closet with a counter.  We visited for breakfast, and our most important meal of the day is one we wish we had skipped.  PJ’s was virtually empty, but with just the two of us, a couple of other unsavory characters, and the anemic staff, the place seemed crowded.  The tables, chairs, and menu were sticky and filmy with grease and gunk, and we were very relieved that we were up to date on our tetanus shots.  A simple wipe down would have helped out a lot, but we doubt it could have salvaged the experience.

High marks:  No one bit us

Low marks:   Cramped and dirty, made us pine for a Waffle House

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Service:  Grade B:  The score of “B” is really the only thing that kept PJ’s from getting our first “D.”  But don’t pat yourselves on the back just yet…your C- is still the lowest overall Grubgrade we have ever given out.  It would be really difficult not to give us decent service, as we were pretty much the only patrons there that weren’t napping (or maybe it was “sleeping it off”).  But I will give kudos to our server for being honest about the food we ordered (you’ll understand a little later) and for attempting to engage us in conversation.  Coffee and OJ came out fairly quickly, and our food arrived in about the same time as it takes to toast an Ego waffle – you’ll get it later.

High marks:  Decent, honest service

Low marks:   Cleaning off our table prior to seating us would have been nice

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Food/Spirits:  Grade D:  Obviously, we refrained from drinking alcohol with our breakfast, although we probably should have.  The OJ was okay, but the coffee tasted like it was bought from a vending machine a week ago and reheated.  For our breakfast, I ordered French Toast and Katina ordered a waffle.  I usually describe how Katina felt about her food first, but I’m going to switch it up, in case our description of her breakfast causes you a brain hemorrhage.  The French Toast at PJ’s was okay – if it was served in the mess hall on some Navy submarine.  Way too heavy on the egg, there was no vanilla, cinnamon, or any other flavors detectable — just tasted like some Wonder bread dipped in eggs.  I decided to go with sausage links for a side.  I don’t know what type of sausage I was served, but I would be willing to bet that the meat was not cow, pig, or turkey.   The sausage was not very good.  Now, Katina ordered her favorite breakfast dish – the waffle.  This drew a look of consternation from our server, who advised Katina she might want to make a different selection.  We appreciated the honest warning, but Katina stuck to her guns, which was a bad move.  These waffles came straight out of a box marked Ego.  We were dumbfounded.  Really, what else can we say?

High marks:  We were able to keep everything down (barely)

Low marks:  Subpar French Toast, waffles from a box, mystery sausage

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Value:  Grade D:  We spent $15 (with tip) on breakfast.  We probably should have spent another $5 for some Pepto.  For the same price, we could have gotten a much better breakfast from McDonald’s.  This was a very disappointing experience.  Our advice is to keep your $15 and find a nearby Waffle House.

High marks:  Very cheap

Low marks:  Still not worth the price

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